To even the score with sicko Auto Dealers, wait outside the showroom until a prospective customer starts talking to a salesperson about the same type of car you got. Walk right up to the customer and tell him you woeful story. The idea is to screw up as many sales as you can (it will cost the dealer at least $5000 for each screw-up). Be factual, be cool, and act as if you’re an honest citizen trying to save another honest citizen some money and heartache –as you wish someone had done for you. Sincere good faith is the thing here, because the saleman is going to blow his about the second time you pull your act.
When the Auto Dealer manager asks you to leave and you don’t, he will probably call the police. You had anticipated this earlier and alerted someone at the local newspaper or television station–probably the action-line reporters. Smalltown media usually won’t allow reporters to come–car dealers buy lots of ads, and you don’t. A regional TV station may show up–if you promise a confrontation with the law. So when the manager calls the police, you call your TV reporter–fun and games for the 6:00 P.M. news.
If all this doesn’t work, wait off the Auto Dealers premises and approach customers as they leave the showroom. Tell your story there and then. Offer to help them avoid your mistake. But stay on public property. And keep after the action-line reporters.
If you esculate the attack a bit, show up when the night salespeople are on duty–they won’t recognize you. Look at new cars; wander around. Few salespeople pay much attention to an obvious gawker. As soon as someone else or a telephone distracts the salesperson, you can do things to the automobile right there in the showroom. A bottle opener is hard on the finish. See the file on additives for things you could quickly put into the fuel tank. If you could smuggle some in with you, stuff roadkill under a car seat or in the glove compartment. Or toss a condom (preferably used) on the front seat. By the way, used condoms make wonderful plants in other locations as well, like the boss’s desk, or in a customer’s car back in the service shop.
If you can manage to slip undetected into the service area along with your bag of sabotage goodies, such as glue, wire cutters, paint, potatoes, M80s, etc., you can run amok. Work quietly and quickly. This sort of guerrilla warfare can literally wreck a Auto dealers service reputation.
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